Life went by in a blink. When I was young all I wanted was to be older. There were various reasons, I felt justified for praying time away. I was told Life is not a dress rehearsal. I don’t get a second chance to do it again. If I could do it again I would make different choices. To do it again I would need wisdom that unfortunately I have only obtained with age.

Things I would Have Did Differently

1, Tried harder in school. I did decent in school. I obtained a bachelors degree. I received an academic scholarship to go to college. I never tried to do well. I never put effort into anything. I would do the bare minimum. I would have been nice to see how I would have did if I really tried.

2, Thought more about my career. I picked a career in a random way. Something I would love doing wasn’t in the equation. I am suffering for that now.

3, Made better choices in my relationships. My relationships choices were based on short term things. Attraction was the highest thing on the list.

4, I could be closer to my family. I made no effort to stay close. I ran as soon as I could. All I thought of were there flaws. I should have accepted them the way they were.

I have more. But no need to cry over spilled milk. I do not get a redue. Now my view is time is precious. My decision process now takes that into consideration.


July 12, 2011. Tags: . Gratitude, regrets. Leave a comment.


I received horrible news today. A friend son was shot by the hand of another. He’s now in intensive care. Please pray for a positive outcome. I use to complain about random things. Someone informed me that complaining helps nothing. You need to be grateful for all your blessings. Things could always be worse.

It is easy to remember the negative and so hard to recall the positive. These are a few negative events I will never forget.

1)    A guy I was dating was killed when I was sixteen. Unsolved murder, can only assume it had to do with drugs or gangs. He was shot execution style in his home. The very house I was at the day before.

2)    Friends and I would frequent a house party in the worst part of Boston. Humbolt Ave in Roxbury was one of the worst streets in the early nineties. I went on a Friday and the party was shot up on Saturday.

3)    My grandmother died was the worst day of my life. She had cancer and I witness all her pain, anguish and death.

4)    A young friend of 34 died. Medical reason put him to early death.

5)    A guy I met online was killed in an auto accident.  He was driving his Limo for his business. His Limo was hit by a drunk driver. He was not the only casualty. The family he was carrying had one or two survivors.

6)    An acquaintance was killed on Easter. His whole family died at the scene of an auto accident. The reason for the accident undetermined due to it being a hit and run.


I am sure tragedy is not something I want to commit to memory. The question is what have I learned. Why are these things pressed in my brain?  I have had more than my fair share of blessings. Those blessing are committed to memory as the negative ones. Every day is a blessing. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I need to live my life to the fullest.

Tragedy should not be the only time to be grateful. I need to be grateful everyday.




December 25, 2010. Tags: , , , , . blessings, Faith, Grateful, Gratitude, Negative. 3 comments.

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