I will begin with I am not a hair person. I have never been a hair person. I got my first perm at seven years old. (yes my mom was sick of my screaming every time she tried to press it) I always put it in a pony tail. My hair is thick and even with a perm it would never be totally tame.
It would look great most of the time when done by a professional. One night sleep and that was over. Also a perm couldn’t tame the thickness. That is why I was so addicted to relaxers I wanted this bone straight hair. No one took the time to tell me the perm wasn’t going to do it. It would never look the way I imagined.
Now I am natural. I finally cut off all the perm. I can see my hair texture and I have to say I love it. I had no idea what was under those chemical. It has this spiral curl that I didn’t know existed on my head. I was totally in the dark of what my true hair looked like. How could I, I been trying to fry it to death in one way or another since I was seven.
This is all to say I am still not a hair person and very lazy. When I first started growing out the perm I was trying all kinds of youtube tutorials. It was a new toy I wanted to play with. Well that has been over for a while. It has been buns to work and wash and go on the weekends.
I don’t know how much longer I can do these wash and go. It is about to be winter. I need some hair motivation. I don’t have it right now, but I need to find it somewhere. I wanted to flat-iron it out and see what it looked like. Meaning I wanted to do that in my mind. I haven’t made it to plugging in the flat-iron to even attempt to do it.
In cutting off the perm there was no style just aimless cutting. I have no idea what this hair looks like straight. I am a little scared to find out. For all the hair people send me some of your vibes I need HELP!!!
Black women and their hair can be costly and time consuming. Relaxer, flat irons, hot combs, weaves braids, rollers and nightly scarfs. The energy and money I have put into my hair I could have gotten a second college degree.
Now I want to have my natural hair. I desire to see what I have been born with. Everywhere I look black women have been taking charge and not frying their hair and scalp with chemicals to make it straight. My hair is not straight and I finally accepted that. It has taken a long time to get to this point. Granted dealing with my natural hair has presented a challenge. I am not ready to do the BC (Big Chop) and cut off all the relaxed hair. I have been dealing with two textures of hair for six months. Half my hair is straight and the other half my natural hair pattern has emerged.
If I cut of my hair, ponytails would no longer be possible. I am very attached to my ponytail. This has always been an age old solution to a bad hair days. I have had many of those days with this journey.
The reaction to my decision has had varying results. My boss seems to give me compliments on my hair when I flatiron it straight. Clearly my natural protective styles are not attractive to her. The women who are natural at my job have defiantly kept me motivated and positive to not give up.
Dating with Natural Hair
The men I meet especially black men are not feeling the natural look. Eventually I will get up the courage to cut the relaxer off. I was told by one guy if I cut my hair we could just be friends. He clearly didn’t know me and ultimatums do not work. I had to put an end to that.
I talked to my friend who is all natural. She said “Black men want a black woman that looks like a white woman. I had to agree with some men. Not all. We all have been socialized that black women natural hair is unacceptable.
I spoke about these issues on another blog. I got a comment that black men think nappy when they here natural hair. My reaction is what wrong with nappy. What is wrong with the way I was born? There is nothing wrong with the way god created me. My natural hair will make an appearance in all its glory no matter who accepts it.